If I Can Talk, I Can Write

samedi, septembre 09, 2006

When a girl says "it's not you, it's me," It's you. 7:13:00 PM

Ahh... gotta cover my own ass here. Freakin blog... I just read what I typed there... freakin freak freak freak is that embarassing. You don't understand how embarassed I am after this breakup. There's a girl out there now who knows me in the relationship sense and rejected me for who i am. Oh my goodness that hurts so bad.
But I'm getting over it... and that's what I keep telling myself... and I think I am. I want to remain friends but I just don't know how I'm going to do that without taking some time away from her... but I promised her that I wouldn't avoid her and because of that, I won't. But that means I've got to suck up all my feelings and pretend to be joyful and cheerful and happy. This is like the role I was meant to play... aye?
The more and more I see how she treats me, the more I realize that we weren't meant to be. It seems so final for me to say that but I think it's true. I saw her interacting with one of her other guy friends and I realized that it's going to take me a loooong while before I can be on that level friendship with her.
When I say I love her, I mean it. She's a love, but she's not THE love of my life... so there might still be somebody out there.

I just wish I didn't feel so embarassed. Was it really just incompatability or was I just not good enough for her?? I never got clarification on that. 7:03:00 PM